So my Angel has now completed school. It’s been an extremely emotional time for us all. It’s a bitter sweet moment, 18 years of education and my baby still can’t write her name. Will she ever be able to? I simply don’t have the answer to that, Just like a huge range of other unanswered questions. Does she understand she’s going to college? If I’m totally honest, the answer is, No, she probably doesn’t. Will she get to grips with the the new 3 day a week routine? Only time will tell.
I’d like to think she will understand it’s a new era and it’s not school. I hope she settles in well and enjoys her time at college. I remember her being placed in specialist nursery at just over 2 years old and here we are at nearly 20 saying goodbye to that chapter of schooling.
I’m actually beginning to think how this will affect her. The routine won’t be the same. The people won’t be the same. Starting college is daunting for anyone let alone Aaisha. She will never be able to tell me what she really thinks of this new place or how her day was. Oh how I would do anything to have those simple conversations with her. Even though I’ve know her future would be different and she’ll never be independent, it’s still so very hard. Some times I catch myself watching her playing with Lego or the uno cards and can’t help wonder if autism wasn’t apart of her, what career path would she have chosen? Or she could be driving by now and seeing whatever she wanted in the world. Would she be dating? As her Mum it’s only natural I guess that I think and feel these things. How will I feel when others her age are getting married and starting a new life? Knowing I’ll never see her as a bride..
Autism truly is cruel twist of fate but I can’t change any of it and I simply don’t know her any other way. It might mentally exhaust us some days but we will never let it take over her life or ours! There may be many things she may never do but through us she will live her life to the fullest. We will give her every opportunity to experience the things we do and along the way we will continue to raise awareness & acceptance of autism.