Dear Ayshy

Maybe one day you’ll be able to read this. Maybe one day you’ll be able to understand, maybe one day you’ll see how special you are!! I have faith and hope in my heart that one day you’ll truly understand how proud I am of you, you’ll see for yourself how far you’ve come even with the odds against you!

Maybe one day will have a “normal” conversation. Maybe one day I’ll do all the other things with you that every other parent takes for granted! Maybe one day you’ll actually tell me what you want for Christmas. Maybe one day I can teach you to drive. Maybe one day we can argue, like I do with Aneesa. Maybe one day we can go shopping and you can choose what you want to wear.

Maybe one day we could go the movies and watch a film together. Maybe one day you can chose your own bday present. Maybe one day you’ll tell me you “I love you mum” without me repeating it. Maybe one day we could sit & talk about your day. Maybe one day God will grant me one of the above any one will do.

Maybe one day before I leave God will show you.. That my love for you is external & unconditional it will never fade. I won’t ever stop loving you, I won’t ever stop hoping, I won’t ever let my faith slip but in the meantime I’ll always hold your hand, always guide you, always be your voice… But maybe one day just one day even if only for that one day God will grant me my wish. Mummy loves so you much Ayshy….

Autism will never change the love we have, autism will never be just who you are, for you are so much more. Your my daughter first & foremost and I will forever be by your side, but we will show the world autism isn’t the end of the world. It’s just the beginning of a different one.

Pam Malhi

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