Autism will never be important to some people until it happens to them. Well in all honesty I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It drains every ounce of physical strength you have, yet somehow you master and programme yourself to find some more and deal with your child’s emotions before you can even think about your own. In reality an autistic parent doesn’t have time to deal with their emotions fully, not yesterday, not today, not tomorrow.
The truth is not we simply can’t afford to fall apart. The moment we do we’ve lost the battle we’ve been fighting for so long! We smile, we laugh, we share others happiness, others sorrow, others joy and even others tears. We do it probably because we can’t completely express our own. We feel our own heartbreak daily yet we also understand it could be much worse. We don’t allow ourselves to feel bitter or be sad. I considered myself blessed while others pity me, they don’t have to say it, I see it in their eyes. They are thankful this is my battle and not theirs. To understand my emotions you’d have to deal with it every day. You would have to programme yourself to get on with it and not be bitter. You would need to have a “ride or die” way of thinking.
I wasn’t always like this, it is how life programmed me to be. When it comes to my child I will do all I can to see her happy, settled & safe. I’ll protect her with every ounce of breath in me. I will fulfil my duty to her and my promise to God no matter how hard it gets.
All I ask is for Autism Acceptance and Awareness. Don’t ever pity me. Pity is a word that doesn’t exist in my world along with many others. I love my daughter more than life itself. I share this with you so you can understand the journey many other parents like me are on and carry on regardless, irrespective of how bad the day gets.
We still care about everybody’s else’s feelings so spare a thought for ours too.
The whole of April is Autism Awareness Month. Wednesday April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day, it’s a onesie Wednesday so if you see someone in a onesie, you’ll know and understand autism is a part of their life. I hope you’ll take the time to learn and understand more about autism so you too can make a difference to these children and adults life’s by having a better understanding of what they go through and their battle to understand the world we live in and take for granted.